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Greetings! Here's a link to my project, which focuses on timeless love stories. All comments are welcome.
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| Blinded by timeless love. Source: Deviant Art. |
Introduction to a coffee fanatic
I am a junior pre-medical student majoring in Psychology with minors in Microbiology and Medical Humanities. Upon graduating in May 2019, I hope to attend medical school and become a physician. One of the ceaseless reasons for my career pursuit stems from my advocacy to increase accessible healthcare. Ten years from now, I see myself traveling to developing countries such as my parents’ motherland, Bangladesh, to make healthcare, and healthy lifestyles in general, more opportune. I truly believe we all can live in a better world if we help others delve into happiness as we do so ourselves. Medical school: a goal of mine for as long as I can remember! Source: flickr Aside from my biggest hopes and dreams, just like most college students, I find myself stressed during midterms, semester projects, and piecing together the puzzle that is life! In the midst of an incredibly busy schedule, however, I am sure to make time for a little fun. During winter break, I vacationed in ...
Naomee,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story. The background information you provided about Vali was beneficial to my understanding of the reasoning behind banishing Sugriva. The external struggle between two emboldened brothers is very relate-able, and providing that information made the story make more sense. I would consider changing the header image of this page though. I think it would be cool to incorporate an image of your setting for this story. It would make it feel like you are sitting in the same location as the characters.
Hey Naomee! Good work on your story! I think that you could really improve the site/portfolio itself. For example, I would suggest re-titling the page that your story is on so that the age itself isn't just called "Story". As you add more stories, it will be beneficial for the tabs to the pages to be titled and descriptive of the story itself so the reader knows where he or she is on the site. Also i would suggest sprucing up the banner image with something that helps situate the reader in the stories you will be telling. This is the introduction to your portfolio before the reader has a chance to see any of your stories so make sure it is welcoming and relevant. This may take a while to find but will definitely be worth it for your overall site's aesthetic. I look forward to seeing how you make the site your own and add more stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Naomee great work on your story! I really like the added details to the story because it gives a lot more depth behind the jealousy that Vail must have felt. This gives a lot more reason why he felt betrayed by Sugriva and makes the backstory in Ramayana feel a lot more powerful. I think it would be very interesting if you added even more variation in your story next time. Your added details are creative, but adding maybe another character could make the story seem more yours rather than added details onto Ramayana. Great job on your story, I look forward to reading more.
ReplyDeleteHey Naomee!
ReplyDeleteI really like your detailed story on your main page of your website. It might be helpful however to make that first story have its own page with its own title so it stands out more from your home page. I really like your background image on your home page, but it makes it so your navigation bar is really hard to read because the titles line up with background text. I really like your storytelling style and it does a good job to bring me in and become interested in the characters. Your changes to the original stories are neat and I like your originality with them. I like the images you choose for your stories, but the citations should probably be below the images. They look awesome and having the citation right in the middle of them distracts from the impact they should have when readers come to your stories. Overall it looks great so far and I look forward to seeing how it turns out.
Hey Naomee,
ReplyDeleteI really like the overall theme of your portfolio project. I am also doing a portfolio project and I am loving it so far. I think it gives you the opportunity to write in different styles and publish them to the project.
Your stories are very well written as well. I really like the story titled "Sugriva". I thought you went into great detail and really worked hard to create a story that the reader can connect with. Great job!! I do wonder, however, what might happen if you separated the dialogue into its own lines so that the reader could see it. This may give the reader more time to pause and comprehend that it is actually a quote they are reading. Also, I think it may be helpful to give your first story its own page. You have the King Shantanu story on every page of the project. This may confuse some readers. Overall, great job so far on your project and I am looking forward to seeing it develop over the rest of the semester.
Hey Naomee, I'm glad I got a chance to read your story today! I hope you've been doing well this semester!
ReplyDeleteTo start, I really liked the layout of your website! The picture on the homepage was not too overwhelming and drew me in. Your stories are really well written and helped me understand the original stories better! I liked that you chose some of the more "background" stories to give more details and understanding since they're brushed over so easily. I think it was neat how you pulled from several sources to write your stories so that many different details were interwoven that aren't found in any one of the originals standing alone. The only thing I would really recommend is to have the citations for your banner pictures being at the bottom of the page, rather than with the title! Just so this way we can focus more on the picture itself and not worry about seeing a citation. Great job, I can't wait to read more!
Hi Naomee! Your project is coming along very nicely. First off, your homepage is looking good, but you could add little blurbs for your stories to help guide your readers to what they might enjoy. Also, as much as I like the banner picture for your homepage, it makes the navigation links in the top right very difficult to read :( For your first story, I remember reading the original and wondering how the brothers could hold such great grudges against one another. Your inclusion of a backstory and old conflict between them explains a lot. Your second story made me think of the incredible parallel between Satyavati and the Bradford Pear trees in bloom right now. Beautiful. But very stinky. I'm not sure how you could work this into the story at all, but I thought it was too perfect not to share. I love that the king is able to love Satyavati despite her odor and even finds a reason to appreciate it. I think everything is really nice as it is now, but if you're looking to add more to your story, you could always include some dialogue between the two lovers. Very nice job so far!
ReplyDeleteHi Naomee! Wow I am thoroughly impressed by your creativity in the work you do. Your writing flows very well and is very consistent with the plot, characters, setting, etc. I am baffled by the uniqueness you bring to the table in this class and how you correlate your own life in to the stories you tell, while still relating it back to Indian Epics story. Thank you for sharing with us! I look forward to more stories by you. Have a wonderful week 11!
ReplyDeleteHi Naomee,
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job at re-telling this fun stories. I especially loved your first story and how you talked about the two brothers. I feel like it also resembles Cain and Able. I think you did the perfect amount of conversations and telling the story. i enjoyed reading your stories. You also did a great job at giving details on what is going on and why that happened. i really understood the story. I enjoyed looking over your portfolio and thought you did a great job with the colors and pictures on your portfolio. I liked your home page pictures and maybe wish the stories were also present at the bottom of the page also. I like you have done a great job. I cannot wait to read more from you this next few weeks. Thank you for your awesome story. Good luck with the rest of the semester.
Hey Naomee! It is great to get the chance to read your portfolio. I agree with Elizabeth, your stories very very fun to read. It was nice to see how you tried to keep with the original storyline for most of your writing. Did you do this on purpose? Why didn't you choose to make the settings and characters more modern? Either way, I loved your stories. I was looking back at the earlier comments about your formatting, it looks like you understood their criticism because your site looks more put together and has proper labeling. How have you found writing your portfolio? Has it been easy? I really enjoy writing the stories, but sometimes it is hard to adapt a new story from the epics. But, overall, I think you have done a very good job at rewriting the epics. Will you add a third story? I noticed that you do not really have a common theme, are you planning on making a theme by the end?
ReplyDeleteHi Naomee! I think your stories are beautifully told and you do an excellent job of simplifying the stories enough that someone who does not have a lot of outside knowledge can still follow along and enjoy the writing. I took the India Epics class but it was three years ago so my knowledge of the Ramayana and Mahabharata are a little shaky, but I did not have trouble with your stories. I liked the changes you made and how they still stayed true to the original story, and it is obvious you have some outside knowledge of these tales or have done some research that really lends itself to making these stories work. I loved how you made Satyavati's fishy smell something that she did not get rid of, but rather something that someone came to love her in spite of, because that to me is true love. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHey Naomee! I am glad that we are mixing up each class. I am glad that i got to read your story. Your story is very fun to read and it is also very exciting. I am impressed on your creativity. The layout for your page is also very nice. I liked how you focus on background characters such as Sugreeva. People tend to focus on main characters but i love how you choose to talk about smaller characters. I really enjoyed your storytelling style! The picture you used is not too overwhelming and it blends in fine. I also like the bright color of your portfolio! I hope you keep up the good work and i will be looking forward to reading more stories from you!
ReplyDeleteHey Naomee! I’ve commented here before, but thought I’d come back and see what else you’ve added. I really enjoyed the story of Krishna and Radha. I loved their story when I first did the original readings. It broke my heart that Krishna had to leave her because the two seemed so deeply invested in their love for one another. It was very sweet that Krishna’s favorite dish became panchamrit, but specifically prepared the way Radha did. You’ve done a really nice job, but since I’m supposed to make suggestions, you could add some dialogue between the two lovers. Their departure scene could be really great for this. It would allow you to even better show their love for one another. You could also do this for when they meet, since this part kind of got skimmed over. I understand that these parts can be difficult to write, but they really add to a story and your characters. Nice job and thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHey Naomee! I really like the stories that you have chosen to showcase in your project. I liked the consistent theme between the stories. Vali was one of the characters I found most interesting in the Ramayana, and his struggle with his own brother was one of my favorite parts. I am happy that you decided to expand a bit on that story. I liked how you used the second story to comment on the superficiality of people. It something that doesn’t get talked about often. I liked how you were able to incorporate all of the research you did into the third story. I hadn’t heard many of those details about Krishna, and I thought it was really interesting to see how you incorporated them into the story. Overall, great job on your project! It was an incredibly unique and fresh take on the stories we have read so far!
ReplyDeleteHey Naomee, I picked your project because of the name, I am a sucker for love stories. I really enjoyed the first story of Sugriva and Ruma. I had remember reading a little about Sugriva’s banishment in The Ramayana but was also curious on how his wife Ruma could leave him when Vali returned. I liked that you added in some reasoning as to why Ruma had done this. I am curious why you did not add Hanuman into your story since he was one of the only monkeys that believed Sugriva when he was banished and went with him. Even a small mention about Sugriva not being left alone when he was banished would have been nice. I also read the second story about King Shantanu and Satyavati. There was no mistaking that this story was from the Mahabharata. I still think the conception of Satyavati is the strangest thing, but I liked how you made herself conscious about her smell (who wouldn’t be). But you could add a conversation between her and her father about finding a man that accepted her despite her smell. I think this is a conversation most girls have with their mothers but since she does not have one maybe her fisherman father could tell her about finding someone that loved everything about her. I did love how you ended the story. You have a great theme for your project and it is coming along great!
ReplyDeleteHey Naomee! I want to start off by saying that your website looks awesome. The cover image on the Introduction page is a great picture that encompasses all of the stories that you retell throughout your website. The King Shantanu and Satyavati story is probably one of the stranger stories that I have read. I think that it is safe to say that you have found true love when you can get over the fact that your significant other will smell like fish for the rest of their lives. But, the courage that Satyavati shows in revealing her true self to Shantanu is the real message of the story. I think everyone has something about themselves that they are not comfortable sharing with the world because they think that the world will see them differently.
ReplyDeleteHi, Naomee! I love the layout of your website. The heart made from hands adds to the overall theme of love. Your little introduction is also a sweet opening for us to read. Your first story’s photo is eye-catching as well! You use a little dialogue here and there but it might be beneficial to add some more and make it more conversational! This would allow us to have a more hands on experience with the story. I appreciate that you took liberty with the original story to fir your theme! Your author’s note is very articulate and informative! In “A Truly Strange Love Story,” could you give a translation of Matsyaghanda? It would help the clarity of your story. This story is so strange! So, your title helps us to fully appreciate what is happening and the oddities that occur. Overall, I really enjoyed reading your stories and I think you have a good storybook to share!
ReplyDeleteHey Naomee! I really like the design and layout of your website. I can clearly get a feel for the theme of your portfolio just by looking at your image selections and the titles of your different stories. I feel like you have done a good job at being cohesive with your stories so that as a whole your portfolio’s theme is clear. I really enjoyed reading all of your stories that you have incorporated into your portfolio. I really enjoyed reading, “The Truth Behind Sugriva’s Banishment” and I thought your story flowed really well and had some great dialogue between your characters. I feel like this gives your story more dimensions and makes it more interactive for the reader. Also, I feel like the concept for most of your stories were really creative and you did a great job at explaining the original stories in your Author’s Note! Overall, I think you have done a great job so far on your portfolio and I can’t wait to see what type of story you add next!
ReplyDeleteHey Naomee.
ReplyDeleteI am from the Myth and Folklore class, so I really loved reading your stories. It gave me a change of pace to see some of the stories form your class. I also really like your website. The title "True Love Stories Never End" is adorable. I remember thinking as a kid how open ended the line "and they lived happily ever after" was. Your stories are really great! I did not read any of the originals, but your author's notes always had a really good summary that let me easily compare them and understand what you changed. I hope you get a chance to add another story, because I really love what you have done so far.